Nuptuals

My old college roommate and dear friend Mike Z. is tying the knot this weekend, and I regretfully can't attend. Fortunately, I'll spend some time with Mike and his bride in July, and I hope they can stop by if they decide to drive to the Midwest again, but I still feel like a chump.

I've already given him a small pep talk over the phone -- the one based on my wife's disdain for the "wisdom" that the first year of marriage is the hardest. The first year is certainly not the hardest. The first year should be a big silly, stupid, dreamy fog. Marriage in general should be fun -- a shared adventure. A marriage should embrace the differences between spouses as much as it should the similarities, but this approach shouldn't be an excuse for stubbornness or a lack of compromise.

The most important advice I can give is that one should take an active interest in his or her marriage. Don't simply take it for granted. Don't be along for the ride -- be a part of it.