Gay Paree

Imagine you're visiting Paris, France for the first time. It's a nice Friday morning, and you decide to visit the Eiffel Tower. Alas, you can't go up to the top deck because some famous Scientologist is proposing to his girlfriend of six weeks and "his people" have closed off the area! While I've read nothing confirming this suspicion, what I do know of American celebrities and their wacky alternate realities is that such a thing likely happened. In such a warped universe, two starcrossed celebrities could publicly fall in love in the midst of the advance press of their respective summer blockbusters.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for falling hard in love. I proposed to my wife within three months of our first date. I've met many married couples with the same story. I just find the Cruise/Holmes public relationship far too convenient. At this rate, they'll be married within a day or two of War of the Worlds.

The folks at Free Katie must be working overtime. I hope they get some sleep.